


Warmth

by lodessa



Category: Firefly, Jossverse, Serenity (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-15
Updated: 2006-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-07 14:07:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/431993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lodessa/pseuds/lodessa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaylee is more Earth That Was than all the terraforming in the verse can recreate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warmth

When River wakes up in Serenity's infirmary, the first thing she sees is Kaylee's face. Kaylee is all warm tones; Rivers is cool tones, blues. They are both red though; Kaylee comes to red from peach, while River descends from violet. River is burning inside though, and she wonders whether Kaylee is warm all the way though, or if it's merely a shell. She wonders for only a few moments before Simon arrives, and she sees that Kaylee glows from the inside as well. Then Simon looks over and sees River's eyes are open and River knows that he is her Simon, her Simon and nobody else's. She wants to shut out the Kaylee girl, but she can feel her through Simon's back as he embraces her and whispers that everything is going to be alright. River can see through Kaylee but she cannot ignore her. She chants to herself that Simon is her Simon, that he came for her and he will always come for her. 

Simon always does come for her. Sometimes River wishes that he wouldn't in a small way because she can feel the way his spirit lingers beside Kaylee, for a brief moment after he runs to her. Simon will never leave her, but sometimes River thinks it might be better to leave him. Simon is yellow. Simon is warm like Kaylee but he burns like River. He burns with containment. Inside he is like River's wild flames that threaten to burn River from the inside out, but like Kaylee's gentle glow. Kaylee is a lot like Simon really. River indexes the similarities and differences and pushes aside her notes when they come out most strongly on the side of the similarities. River doesn't want Kaylee to be like Simon. River doesn't want to like Kaylee, because Kaylee would take River's Simon away if she could. She wouldn't take him away from the ship and away into space, no she'd take him away while River was standing right there.

River knows what the Kaylee girl wants. How could she not? Even if she was not a psychic, even if there had never been the needles she would have known. River sometimes wants to take Simon away from Kaylee, to make it like it was before they stuck needles in her eyes. That is why she knows that Kaylee wants to take Simon away. Simon is still River's Simon and Kaylee is not stupid. It is not that Kaylee hates River, after all River does not hate Kaylee, over even dislike her. Some days Kaylee even loves River a little bit, after all she is Simon's flesh and blood, flesh that Kaylee is more than fond of. Kaylee cares for her because she is Simon's but she wants to get rid of her too, because Simon is her Simon.

While Simon sleeps, River counts and recounts his supplies and possessions. Sometimes he wakes and finds her at it. He tells her she's being just like mother, but the smile is unmistakable. River thinks that Kaylee is more like their mother, or like she would have been without the summer house and the weight of jewels around her neck. Sometimes River closes her eyes and tries to see her mother and all she sees is Kaylee laughing. Then she sorts the equipment twice as many times.

Simon was always their mother's darling.

River knows that Simon likes that she and Kaylee are friends. She knows he doesn't understand. Kaylee is planetlight and River is the black of space, and the fire of Serenity's engine. River has heard that it's lonely out in the vastness of space. To her it seems crowded. Simon asks River if she wants to leave Serenity and go somewhere else, somewhere on firm ground River understands. Simon thinks it would be more like home, maybe, on a planet. Kaylee is more Earth That Was than all the terraforming in the verse can recreate, and River wonders that Simon doesn't know it. Maybe he does, and that's why he's so stuck on this idea of getting out of the black. He's River's Simon and he will never leave her, but Simon wants more of a taste of Earth That Was than he feels is alloted to him. River doesn't tell him otherwise.


End file.
